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How do I deal with staff who’s resistant to feedback? This came in as a question from one of you, and I’m answering it here today on our ChiroSecure show. I am Chen Yen, your six and seven figure practice makeover mentor, and your host today. , how do you deal with someone on your staff who is difficult to work with?
This is some someone who sent in this question is I’ve hired someone finding difficult to work with. When I give them feedback, they justify things and or they’re resistant or they seem stubborn to, to feedback and how can I help them be less resistant to. . So have you ever had that experience before where you, when you hire someone, you’re all excited that they’re gonna do a great job for you and it’s gonna take things off your plate?
And then as you work with them sometimes they, they seem resistant and then you explain things to him. You have your own ideas about how you would love things to be done, but they somehow just never do it in the way that you would like it them to for perhaps certain things or maybe for a lot of different things, and they seem to be resistant about it.
So what do you do in that situation? . I think one of the biggest challenges is coming from the perspective of when you’re an owner of a practice or you’re the staff like supervising the staff. Then it. , there might be feelings of being concerned about what if I were to give this person, like how do you first how to handle it, but then if I were to give this person feedback, being concerned about like not having a good way at handling any unanticipated reactions, if you were to say what you really wanted to say when someone’s resistant or that if.
if it ends up going in the direction where it might feel like negative feedback, that it might demotivate the, your staff or employee. or just concerned that you might hurt their feelings if you are noticing they’re resistant to feedback and you’re wanting to say something about it to help shift.
And that’s only, that’s common because you’re human, right? We all have feelings and it doesn’t always feel good to say things if we feel like someone might not respond positively to it. So what can be really helpful in this situation? as the leader, as a CEO of your practice and this, these are some of the things that aren’t usually taught in school, and then when you’re out and you’re practicing, you end up.
Realizing that it’s important to develop skills like this so that you can really work with your team and everyone’s working in a lot of synergy and people are happy, you’re, they’re happy. You’re happy too. And so the first thing is in when someone is resistant, part of what’s included in the feedback is important to share why it matters.
So if someone’s resistant, can think about, have I been really clear? about communicating why this is important. So what might be a good kind of a framework of how to give someone feedback in such a way that they can receive it. And the first thing is to mention that you what you’re observing.
So it might just be that I’m observing that each. I’m getting asked for feedback that there are things missing. Like when you asked me when you’re asking me for feedback on your work. The, I’m missing some details about the situation, right? So it might be an observation.
First thing would be sharing what you observe. Then the second thing would be to Share the impact of that. The, what the result of that is that I end up asking you to clarify that and then you’re probably noticing that there’s more back and forths this way. So that’s an example of mentioning what the impact of it is and then, , then you could either ask them if that they’ve noticed that also, or so o talking about this in an open way to see, have you also been noticing that or how, how do you feel?
So this is a part where you could also insert that as you talk about this. The second thing about its level of impact. Then the third thing is to bring up a suggestion. But there, there are two passes. You could either bring up a suggestion or you could ask them, which is even better. Ask them how do they feel?
Could be a a way to, to what would be a good solution to this? . So ask them what would be a good solution to this? So that dot. So that, and then that’s where you can bring up the desired outcome, right? So for this example, you could say, so that it saves both of us time and it’s also less back and forth for both of us, which will be really nice to have, you having your feedback quicker and then it’ll sa saves both of those.
So notice that in that with the solution, it can either be you asking the person on your team to come up with the idea, or you can make a recommendation nine times outta 10. It’s always best to ask your team for what they think, because then what you’re doing is you’re inviting them to be a part of the conversation, and you are, they’re probably gonna have good ideas, especially if you hired a good person.
and then they start to also think more on their own and then you, and with you being able to add in your suggestions after that, instead of you just letting them know every time how you would like it handled and why. So when you do that, then you’re gonna be more likely to have people on your team start to think for themselves more and understand the why of, cuz one of the hardest things about being a business owner is when, have you ever felt this way before where you feel like, , you wish your team would just read your brain, and sometimes you you get frustrated too.
It’s ah why aren’t they doing this? Because it’s so obvious to me that it needs to be done this way. How many of have ever felt that before? And part of the issue is they may not really understand the, come from the what’s behind what you’re think. and why you would like them to handle it in a certain way, and that’s all part of many times the brand experience.
Most people, when they think about brand, when I say the word brand, they just, or branding, they just think colors. Right? or graphics and logos. But it branding is really more of the whole experience and how you would like your your patients or clients or potential patients or clients to feel how.
Your presence, your clinic comes across to, to someone and what’s your differentiating factor, all that, right? But all those kinds of things make up aspects of your brand. And so part of the issue, especially if you have people who are not necessarily doing things in the way that you would like that to be handled, is that they may not really understand that aspect of their brand.
And then, . So then what they do isn’t matching up to your expectations. So the more you could train them about this, the more they can think for themselves about it. And then you offer up your suggestion, the more likely they will start to get it more. And also become less resistant to feedback.
After they share their thoughts, then you could add your 2 cents in about what you would love to see. So it becomes a discussion of a, together of a solution and rather than just your own su suggestion, but sometimes as a business owner, you might. wish to take a different direction for whatever reason.
And then in that case then make sure you acknowledge them for their ideas as well. And then reflect on it and then let them know about your decision with it and why you’ve made that decision as well. And I think the other thing about resistant to feedback is if, if you’re noticing staff as resistant to feedback is also.
Seeing whether ask yourself how the business has been showing up, like how’s the culture of the business been because how you walk the talk and how you take care of things can also translate into how people are feeling comfortable with whether or not they can come to you with things and then, If, if they are not feeling comfortable, they might bottle it up in within themselves about some matter, and then at a certain point they hit a moment of re resist, like a big moment of resistance where it’s like they’re just not going to do such and such just because.
you requested it. Because sometimes people, as like the staff, they, if there’s not an open dialogue with them and you don’t really know what’s going on with them, what their feelings really are about things, and sometimes staff they may or may not know how best to manage that. So they try to do their best and every person shows up at work because they try to do their best.
That’s, but. , if they feel like they have to keep all these thoughts to themselves, even though they don’t like what they’re doing and how, what you’re requesting of them, and they don’t feel like they can come to you with an open dialogue about that, they might feel a sense of resentment. and up to a certain point in time, they get so resentful to the point where any feedback you give or anything you request of them, it’s almost like they’re like, I’m not gonna do it that way, or whatever, like in their own way of rebelling to the situation.
How many of you have ever experienced working with someone like this in your lifetime? I know I have right? in different settings before I used to work for other people as well, so I and then so in any case, , look at how you’ve set up things culturally, or just how are people under your staff understanding how comfortable they can be with coming to you and where they can share things even if you might not agree with it, that like you welcome those things.
Like you really would rather they tell you what they really think instead of bottling it up to themselves, keeping it to themselves and then one day like building up that resentment or even. , like rebelling in a way, right? Or just feeling anyway, so that, that’s something to keep in mind.
The another thing that, that you could consider. So the first thing that we talked about today when dealing with staff that’s resistant feedback is, To have a way of communicating with them in such a way that the feedback comes across and in a way that you feel good about it. And then they also feel heard and are part of the conversation.
And the second thing is then looking at your culture within the practice. What kind of culture have you created? What kind of culture would you like it to be instead so that you could. Bring the essence of that into your practice and to, to the culture that you would like it to be so that people feel comfortable with sharing their opinions on, honestly.
And then the third thing is to consider when there’s staff that’s resistant to feedback, is that maybe it’s a wrong seat on the bus. So wrong scene on the bus could be two possibilities. One is that it could be the wrong. Person for your team completely. because it’s just not a cultural, philosophical fit or maybe some other reason, right?
You just can’t see them in, in, in any of the roles in your business. Or maybe just even though they’re great, but they’re, they just don’t fit any kind of role that you have a need for right now. Or roci on the bus could also mean that you this person’s outstanding and you feel like, oh, I would love to keep this person around because they’re really outstanding aspects of this person.
this role that they’re in is really not the right fit for them. So if there is a role in your business that this person can help with, then perfect. And if not, this is one of the hardest things I feel like, anyway. Also, maybe you’ve noticed that too. For myself, it’s been the hardest thing to let someone go when I really like them and when I see a lot of great talents.
But because of the need we have on our team, they’re not fitting in that. , even though they’re outstanding, they’re not outstanding in the areas that I really need them in. And then you need to let them go. It’s one of the hardest things I feel as someone who’s a business owner to, to then let go o of someone like that because especially when you like them, right?
How many of you have experienced that before? Is ah, I really this person. It’s really hard to say. I think it’s good to, to go different directions, right? So then. , if you, when is the right time to let go of someone? When is the right time to fire someone or let go of someone? The first time you had the thought, many times is a thought, is the right time, but most of us aren’t bold enough to do that and the first thought.
So definitely the second time we have the thought , it’s often the right time to fire. Unless you, you think back to the moments when you’ve had that thought and then you actually kept someone and it was amazing. And then you just are too quick to conclusions, right? So then that would be the only situation where you might not fire on the, like the first time or second time you have the thought.
But if you’re pretty accurate in the past where it’s like you typically the per the kind of person you let go of when you had the thought. Okay. , you really need to fire this person. And then you didn’t listen to yourself. Second time you said, I didn’t really need to fire this person. And you kept them right.
What’s happened? It’s actually more draining for both of you. It was interesting when I heard this from someone who’s very successful in business and he said that he, cause I learned from all kinds of, , right? So whether making eight figures, 90 figures, I learned from all kinds of mentors and with different kind of strengths whether it’s business skills the money side of things, mindset, side of things.
And there’s this one business owner who said he went back through all the years he had hired people and let them go. And he went back and asked, e asked each one of them how they were doing. , every single one of the people he’s let go of, were happier when they left every like a hundred percent, they were doing well.
They were doing, happier and even better. So the more we procrastinate on it, because we all, we, for whatever reason, it’s not good timing for us or it’s not we don’t wanna hurt their feelings because we really like. , chances are if it’s not working out, then they’re also not enjoying it as much too.
So you’re not letting them fly and grow into what they really would excel and be great at. So with that, if you are at a place where you are at a plateau in your practice where either you have hired, you’ve had staff on your team and you have currently have. But they’re not really the best kind of staff you would like, and you just know that you need another kind of team to take you to the next level.
But you are like, you don’t wanna have to deal with the hassles of hiring and all that. And then you also feel like you don’t wanna go through it all over again to hire someone new. Or you are in a place where you just know you need to hire because you, at some point in time, coming up in the next few months or definitely within this, the next six months because you are tapped out with what you’re doing.
You’re wearing too many different hats and it. , it’s not sustainable because you’re getting burnt out. You feel drained. At the end of the day, you feel like you’re not really doing the kinds of things that light you up, and it sucks energy from you. And at a certain point in time you just start you just feel tired more, right?
Because when you’re not doing things that you love you’re, even when you’re forcing yourself to do it, likely you’ll feel more tired than if you’re just doing things that you love all day long. Would you. . So if you’re in that place, but then you’re like I’ve never really hired someone before.
I’m scared of, it not working out or how do I go about it? Or have hired someone before but it’s now I feel like I need to do it again. I wanna do it right this time. So you can go to half your hiring time.com/toolkit where I’m gonna give you my free half your hiring time tool kit.
So templates and then also a free masterclass on being able to attract the right hire to your practice in this unique. Job market so that you are able to have some help and free up your time while growing and even have the practice make more money for you when you’re not the center of the shoulder’s.
Not all in your responsibility, but more people are being helped and more money is coming in. So you’re welcome to go there and have that help. Also pop the link below as well. So half your hiring time.com forge slash toolkit. So to you being able to grow as a leader and stepping into more of the CEO role, wearing that hat instead of just the doctor.
The practitioner hat and having more expansiveness this way when you’re able to have other people be helping people or seeing patients for you even when you’re not always involved. And it starts with you being able to be an inspiring leader and someone who is a able to Lead the team well and to you having an am amazing team to work with.
And feel free to get the free toolkit to help you further. And if you would like further help with this, also you could reach us@introvertedvisionary.com. So next time.
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